Kratos Paddles Wrong in God of War

There will not be any spoilers about the new God of War in this article.  However, this maybe a spoiler if you were wondering how Kratos propels a certain sea faring vessel around numerous lakes and streams throughout the game.  I mentioned yesterday that I was really enjoying sections of the game when Kratos tells stories to his young son.  These sections are also some of the most frustrating to me because apparently no one in Santa Monica actually paddles canoes.

Yes in the Sony Santa Monica’s new game Kratos paddles a canoe.  He paddles a canoe during one of the earliest scenes so I do not feel like I am spoiler anything here.  I am not an avid paddler, but I have paddled many canoes during my time here on earth.  I have even been a member of an approximately 10 mile canoe race that I won.  There were four people in our boat, which is a story for another time.  The point is I may not have paddled much, but I do know the proper technique when paddling a canoe.

Canoe is great because it doesn’t care which hand is dominate.  You will use both hands equally.  When paddling on the right side of the boat, you will use your inside hand (right) to brace the paddle and your outside hand (left) to plunge the paddle from the top of the shaft.  The opposite would be true when paddling on the other side.

Notice Kratos’ form from this screenshot.


Very nice, if a little bit hard to see.  He has his right hand on top of the paddle and his right hand holding the center of the shaft.  He is leaning much too far to the right, which would likely flip the boat – but I’ll give them a pass.  Also I understand that he is a god and probably very strong, but he only uses his arms to paddle.  You need to use your back and your core to move the blade through the water!

Now check out what happens when he paddles on the other side.


Kratos awkwardly keeps his right hand on top of the paddle!  How?  Why?  What?  It seems like the developers never tried to hold a paddle and then switch sides.  You might imagine that if you were developing a game that including so much canoeing around, you might figure out how canoes and paddling work.  But no.  They decided to have Kratos arm twist around to grip the shaft in the most inefficient way possible.

The next time you are in a boat, try to paddle like this and see how it feels.  Just don’t lean so far out of the boat when sticking the blade in the water, you might get wet.

Jake “prettyboyplaid” Fredericks

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